Relationships are rarely free from conflict, and it takes effort from both partners to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Luckily, there are plenty of things you can do that will help.
Listen to Your Partner
Listening is often a skill which is missing in relationships. The problem starts when one person does not listen to or acknowledge the other person who is talking. When you dismiss or ignore what your partner is saying, they could feel disrespected and hurt. However, the moment you start to really listen to them, they will notice this, and you are more likely to have a satisfying and engaging conversation.
Relationship counselling teaches you how to listen to your partner more intentionally & genuinely. For instance, you may have been a debater instead of a listener. And the truth is you may not necessarily realise it. Relationship counselling can help you to become aware of this and teach you skills, tools & strategies which will help you to become a more effective listener.
Take a Break
Taking time out is one of the most effective ways to have healthier conversations. It’s not always possible to listen to another person’s perspective when there is an emotional outburst or conflict. So, both you and your partner sometimes need to have a break to gather your thoughts, to regulate your emotions and gain perspective.
Couple’s counselling helps you to understand the significance of calling a timeout instead of going into a fight or flight mode. If you believe that a particular action has caused a conflict, counselling can show you better ways to resolve it. It teaches you the problem-solving skills and strategies to have more open and productive communications.
Schedule a Time to Deal with Conflict
When you allocate time to discuss or resolve your issues, you are more likely to resolve them without any interruptions and distractions. Nobody likes having arguments, but unfortunately, conflicts are a reality in a relationship. Knowing you have dedicated time gives you the space to prepare and share your worries and listen to your partner in an unhurried and empathetic manner. If you are experiencing trouble or discomfort in expressing your views or developing healthy conversations, relationship counselling can help you. Relationship counselling provides you with the education, support, and assistance to learn to cope & manage your relationships issues better.
Stop Complaining and Generalising Issues
Issues can escalate and end up in regret or hurt when one person blames the other for not meeting their needs by complaining and making generalisations. When you make generalisations such as “you always, you never or you can’t” then you are attacking the other person by pointing the finger at them. In return, you’re highly to get only defensive responses. In turn this can then easily become a vicious circle resulting in more arguments.
It’s more likely that your intentions or your needs will not be met this way. On the other hand, when you ask something in a more respectful tone like: “would you mind if I?” or “I would love some help”, then you are more likely to receive a more favourable response. Relationship counselling provides a safe and private space to confront and talk about your issues.
Relationship counselling is very useful if you want to find ways to build trust, rapport and to manage conflicts in a healthier manner. At Adelaide Counselling Practice, we have experienced marriage counsellors and relationship therapists who can work with your concerns and guide you, support you, educate you and help you progress towards building a stronger & kinder relationship. If you think your marriage could benefit from counselling, then please contact us now.