The end of a relationship can be an emotionally traumatic experience for a lot of people, even if the relationship was not a healthy one. Some of the intense and challenging emotions we endure are like the emotions we experience during the grieving process. We break up with someone and can be filled with anger, anxiety, disbelief, fear, sadness, depression, loneliness, confusion, regret, and guilt. Even though some people move on quickly, others may not be sure if they are ready to start dating again for quite a while.
A breakup of a romantic relationship can literally break our spirit and we are presented with a variety of emotional issues and pain. It can take you a long time to learn to live with the ending of a significant relationship. It doesn’t matter how long the relationship lasted, it all depends on the meaning and significance the relationship had for you!
There is no instant remedy to heal a broken heart. Loss and grieving are something that nobody likes or wants to experience however it is a normal human experience. It’s important to talk with family and friends if emotions are distressing you and affecting your daily life. Sometimes you may need to seek professional help such as counselling to heal and regain your confidence and happiness.
It can be tempting to avoid difficult emotions and to look for a new relationship quickly. This can also help us to distract us from the pain. Unfortunately, it is usually a short-term solution, and it is likely to create ongoing unresolved issues along the way. Which then create future unhealthy relationships down the track, as we end up repeating the same mistakes. The grief & loss we experience after a breakup is a process we must go through sooner or later.
It’s essential to take good care of yourself first, to be compassionate towards yourself and to find a way to heal from within. Counselling can be a great help with this, providing support, guidance, and an opportunity to learn and grow as a person.
So, when is the right time to go dating again? That is the million-dollar question! Everyone is different and it depends on your individual wants & needs. There is no set timeline. Take your time!
A few things to remember:
- Nothing is permanent, not even the pain you are going through right now. Even though it will take time, try to focus on the positive aspects of your life, your family, children, friends, colleagues, and other people who are important to you. And the things you can be grateful for such as your health, home, work, lifestyle, hobbies etc…
- Relationships are not the only thing that can make you feel happy. Find out more about who you are and what your values are. What is important to you and what makes you feel happy?
- Embrace the changes. It is often much better not to be in a relationship and single rather than to put up with a bad relationship and feeling even lonelier!
- Learn to express your emotions properly instead of avoiding them. Help is always there. You can approach your friends, family, colleagues or a professional, like a counsellor.
- Relationships are useful life experiences, and we can learn a lot about ourselves from them. The ending of a relationship it is an opportunity to better understand yourself and to work out what your wants & needs are.
- Just remember you may feel lonely, but you are not alone!
At Adelaide Counselling Practice we can help you 7 days a week from 9am to 9pm. We have experienced, accredited & supportive counsellors who can give you coping tools & strategies to assist in coping, surviving, and thriving during these difficult times in your life. Please check your Private Health Fund policy as you may be eligible for counselling rebates. Please call us on (08) 8237 0509 to book an appointment or visit our website.