Anybody can hear you, but what about sincere listening? Do you listen to your partner? Or do you feel heard by your partner? Genuine and sincere listening can improve your relationship greatly. Genuine listening is the key to a healthy, long-lasting, and happy relationship. So, here are five essential elements of genuine listening that are sure to change your dynamic towards your partner.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes
When your partner is doing the talking, try to listen with empathy. The more you care enough to listen to them, the better you get a picture of what they are going through. It begins with putting your thoughts, emotions, or ego to rest for a moment and being ready to see things through their eyes. So, it gives you a chance to understand your partner’s way of realising things and their emotions. It puts you in their shoes and gives you an idea of their emotional state – be it anger, anxiety, regret, frustration, or guilt. So, when you start listening with care, it also makes your partner relieve stress and make them feel secure.
Try To Enunciate or Express What You Have Understood
Giving a synopsis of what you have heard from your partner makes all the difference. If you don’t do it, both you and your partner may not know if the shared conversation delivered the right emotion and context as your partner’s. It can give your partner a chance to have you fully comprehend what they mean. It provokes deep thinking to help you understand and connect with your partner.
Care Enough To Ask if There’s More
When you care enough to ask your partner if there’s anything else they want to share with you, it makes them feel valuable. By doing so, you are taking every step to make your partner feel comfortable and let them know that they matter to you. It gives them the validation to speak their mind without the fear of being judged. Believe it or not, it makes a massive difference in relationships.
Speak Your Mind When They Finish
Once you have fully listened and clarified everything from your partner’s perspective, it’s a good time to discuss your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Slowly start explaining what has been happening in your life, the reason for a particular situation or your point of view. Instead of arguments and a shutdown attitude, you’ll see a shift to a more mature and deep conversation. You’ll be surprised by the amount of impact it plays in making your partner listen to you with care. It allows you the opportunity to explain and clarify your emotions just the way your partner did.
Work Towards Resolution
You listened to your partner, and your partner has listened to you. So, what happens next? Now that you know both of your views, it is crucial to discuss the matter without bias. Only then can you work towards finding a resolution for it. Sometimes, it’s all about wanting to get heard. So, in that case, you and your partner have already found a solution. But there are times when working towards a respectful resolution may look impossible, which is why you may benefit from relationship counselling.
At Adelaide Counselling Practice, we have experienced, kind and fully accredited marriage and relationship counsellors who are ready to help you. Contact us if you are looking for a relationship or couples counselling service in Adelaide.
